I walked the walls of a medieval city wearing a hat that came down to my knees. As the day progressed I spoke to statues while my wife struggled through tunnels of cloth. We came back riding bareback on metal maggots – hers was called Achilles and mine was called Hector.
I came out of the sad mists of time to take the jester’s road to town. An assemblage of total strangers cut the day into manageable slices as “Pixie-head” (my name not hers) hovered at least six inches above the ground. I was just about to proclaim the apotheosis of time when a coconut fell on my own head.
I emerged from the bowels of the bedroom later than planned (some time in the 25th Century). During the main part of the day I had to struggle with alligators while rain clouds dressed as morris men danced overhead. In the middle of the last act a previously unknown character entered holding a wrist watch.
A long day which was stretched like sellotape across brown paper – the chorus line had to tear the tape from their mouths before they could sing their well known songs. I pulled a thought bubble from the top of my head and kneaded it into a rough map of the Isle of Wight.
I fluttered my wings early while hanging in a clear plastic bag from the bedroom ceiling. I then returned to writing secret messages on the back of postage stamps – which came as some relief. Later, I walked at least half a mile with an old fashioned galvanised bath hanging like the Sword of Damocles over the top of my head. It was only when I touched the door handle that it inverted.
When I looked in the mirror to comb my hair I was mildly surprised to see three of me, one of which being only four feet high. I thought it was a shame there wasn’t two of my small self as they would have made a nice cruet set. I shook the mechanical spiders off the top of my head and the mirror transformed into the image of a hero of D-Day.
I opened the curtains at ten to eight, just in time to see Diomedes throw his spear at Ares, I closed them again and waited for the petals to fall. I worked in my rabbit cage all day, clothed as it was in coloured silks and buzzing with the remembered voices of my past. I professed my love as the day sailed away.