I have just returned from holiday (my first for very many years) and all my blogs are running behind. I hope to catch up by the end of the week!
I felt tired as I hid under the billowing sheet covered with strange hieroglyphs that I found in the night. I pretended to read the newspaper while secretly studying the image of myself as a very young man reflected in the mirror. I came home as quickly as I could; trying to hide the lambs tail that was growing out of the back of my trousers.
I walked in both the real and imaginary doors with the aim of taking the slant out of all the letters that had suddenly appeared scrawled on the wall. I then compared the colour of blood and charted the position of the next meteorite strike. As predicted by Nostradamus I managed to press numbers on all the vests in a clergyman’s vestry before smiling myself home.
June, my wife was pirouetting in a musical box from early morning (until the dinner bell rang and all the headless people sat down to a pointless lunch) so I spent the morning hanging upside down like a bat. I planned to go outside to be a witness to the birth of a new sun but decided instead to play on my own in the dark.
The start of a new day which I subtitled “Purple Haze”. I walked to town, which at the time was pretending to be the filling in a soufflé, pulling a small trolley which held all the unfulfilled aspirations of those needle like people who manage to get lost in haystacks. I did my eleven thousand waltz movements and then sailed home.
I dreamt the house I was sailing on had got stuck in an ice field and I had to find an infinite number of cheese wires to attempt to free it. I got up with the entire contents of a bee hive replacing my head. I buzzed myself about the Non Euclidean bedrooms before taking the catapult to the high Peruvian plain where I work for a couple of hours a day. I subsequently shot myself home again.
I woke while being chased by a charging rhinoceros. In the heat of the moment I had to paint my teeth while jumping over the neighbours fence. I raced to the Martian race track where I pulled a model of a 25th Century space city from under the skirt I was wearing as a joke. When trudging home through the mud of World Wars I was genuinely surprised by the offer from a row of tropical birds perched on the live wire.
I flew out into the countryside of yesteryear; riding on a large white swan, my childhood locks blowing in the wind. I flew over the large craters that looked like mouths and settled down among the long grass where giant rodents where finally discovering Christ. After a quiet conversation I flew back home; over large mouths that looked like craters.